Over and over again Lilly will ask me, "What would Mommy say when..." (fill in the blank). It could be about anything. "Daddy, what would Mommy say when I was 5 years old?" Or "Daddy, what would Mommy say when I would run around the house in my underwear?"
By the way, on an unrelated note for those who are keeping up with the ongoing story about the flowers at the cemetery, I have a picture to show. They are doing very well. The weather has been hot and dry the last couple of weeks, so Lilly and I have had to increase our watering. We are using 5 gallons of water 2 to 3 times a week. The good news is that it seems to be working. It's a little tough to appreciate, but you can click here to see the picture.
Lilly turned 6 a couple of weeks ago and in another week, she will be done with kindergarten and on her way to 1st grade. "What would Mommy say when I'm in first grade?" She is growing up even if it doesn't appear that she is growing. She is holding steady at 38 pounds. Two pounds shy of getting out of the car seat and into a booster. She doesn't seem to care, but I have noticed that I am the only parent who has to go unbuckle his kid to get her out of the car when I drop her off at school.
Lilly talks about her Mom a lot. But the memories are often few and far between. "What would Mommy say when...?" is a good indication that she is not recalling any specific memory. I am not concerned at all. There are several very detailed memories that Lilly does have and I encourage her to tell the stories so that she does always remember them. But what Lilly may not recall in detail, doesn't change her inner desire to be just like her Mom. Like this picture of Lilly dressed up in Lori's pj's. Click here to see it.
I continue to share with you many stories about how Lori is still around me, but I haven't been as good about keeping up with how Lilly is affected. "What would Mommy say when I was helping you water the flowers?" Lilly has been such a little angel herself that sometimes I forget that she is also finding her own ways to reach out to Lori. When we visit Lori, Lilly is usually very enthusiastic to run right up and talk to her. Early on, Lilly would tell me where Lori was in reference to her surroundings. "Mommy is sitting on that rock over there." "Mommy wants to come in the car with us, she can sit next to me."
More recently, Lilly shares with her more stories about what she has been doing. "Mommy, we are going to dinner with Uncle Kevin and Aunt Jessica. You can come with us if you want to." She is always so polite. "Mommy? May I have one of your flowers?" A short pause as if Lori is giving her a look, then, "May I have one of your flowers please, Mommy?" "I can? Thank you so much Mommy!" She walks right up to the vase and then looks at me for approval, "Mommy said I can have just one flower." What? Am I really supposed to tell her no at this point?
A few weeks ago, we were in the car. I'm not even sure where we were going, but we were riding a route we have driven a thousand times. Around the circle, past Lowes on the left toward the mall, car wash on the left, mall on the right, Chic-Fil-A on the left, heading toward the highway. "Daddy do you remember when Mommy took Me to Chic-fil-A?" she asked me. I quickly ran a hundred scenarios through my head. This was one of the few times she was inquiring about something that may lead to a memory and I wanted to make sure I allowed her to capture it.
"No. Did Mommy take you to Chic-Fil-A?" I was prodding her to respond.
"Yes, don't you remember?" And then the little Lilly flood gates opened.
"She took me there lots of times. After I was done eating, Mommy would let me go into the play area. And one time, I was playing and I bumped my lip. And I was crying. But Mommy came in and picked me up. She said, 'that's okay Lilly' and she gave me kisses. She held me. Mommy said 'what happened' so I said I was coming down the slide and another kid was still on it and when I bumped into him I bumped my lip. Mommy said 'that's okay, I'm sure it was an accident'. So then I just wiped my tears and went back. Do you remember that Daddy?"
"Oh yes, now I remember."
"What did Mommy say to you when I bumped my lip?"
And on and on she went. When Lilly gets talking, there is no turning her off. It was such a simple memory, but she told the story as if it happened earlier that day. I was so excited, I pulled the car over and jotted the note down so I wouldn't forget it.
As Mother's Day approached, I got a phone call from Lilly's teacher. She was so nice. She explained to me that the kids were going to make a book for their Mom's and she wanted to know if I wanted Lilly to make one for her Mom, or if there was someone else she should make it for. After talking for a little bit, we decided that Lilly would make the book for Lori, and that I would provide her a list of Lori's favorite things to help Lilly with her memory. This way, if they were going to write a page in the book about what their Mom's favorite food is, Mrs. Bullis would have the answers in case Lilly got frustrated and couldn't think of the answers.
It turns out that it was unnecessary for me to provide any material. As the teacher later said to me, "Lilly knew exactly what she wanted in her book and there was no changing her mind." That's my girl! Stubborn and determined like her Mother!
Lilly made a wonderful book for Lori and we took it on Mother's Day to the cemetery so that Lilly could read it to her. (well, I have decided not to include the pictures of the book and instead I will video tape her reading it. I thought that it would be better that way, so I will let everyone know when I get it done. Probably a few weeks or so) Lilly sat so proudly. She flipped her pages and showed her pictures. She walked Lori through the story, page by page. When she was done, she simply said. "Did you like it Mommy?" And then there was silence. Too much silence. So I asked her, "What did Mommy say?"
"She said, 'that was great Lilly'."
She was smiling from ear to ear. So proud to be reading a book. A book she made for her Mommy. Speaking of Lori, I have told you many times now how many traits Lilly has inherited from Lori. There is a picture of Lori holding Lilly when we first brought her home that when you look at it, you can see the same eyes, the same shaped face, the same nose and the same chin on both of them. It is crazy the similarities. You can see this picture here if you haven't seen it.
One night, a couple of months ago, I got a great picture of Lilly. Sleeping. So peaceful. But what was going on in the room that led to this picture? I really will set up the video camera one of these nights. Sometimes it's crazy with stuffed animals and school. Other times it is all about the books. Of course there are times with numerous outfit changes. And then there are times like this. Peaceful. Quiet. And then you look closely and see not only the physical traits that Lilly shares with Lori, but you also get a glimpse into the personality. If I had ever taken a picture of Lori sleeping, you likely would have seen her still with pen in hand. A notebook close by if not in her lap. Probably a book or a magazine resting nearby. So when you look at this picture, you will see Lilly. Sleeping. Just like her Mom would. But not with just any book. A book called "A daughter is Forever". You will see the notebook nearby with some very important information, probably a list of things that she wants Daddy to do! The pen on top of the notebook. And one special little box. A gift from Lori to Lilly this past Christmas. A Mom and a Daughter. Together. You can see the picture here.
I certainly don't have to tell you more about Lori and Lilly and flowers. But I will share with you two pictures. The first is Lilly after setting up her store of flowers out in the front yard. Pretty self explanatory. The second one is from a recent trip to Discovery Place, an interactive real life experience for kids. The kids go from room to room which is setup like a real life mini room. So there is a restaurant where the kids can make pretend food, serve it to customers on trays, setup the display on the counters, work the cash registers, etc... Then the next room is a bank. Pull your car up to the teller or walk inside. It even had a working shoot to get your money from the car to the inside of the bank. Other areas include a fire station, a grocery store, an airport, a theater, etc...
So this picture is taken by me, standing outside of the "grocery store". There are windows in the store, and outside the window are planter boxes filled with green ivy plants. However you will notice that in this picture, the window planter box is filled, and I mean filled, with bright colorful flowers. Because while the rest of the kids were inside the store loading up with grocery's, fruits, vegetables and baked goods, Lilly went right over to the floral section. And while everyone else was taking turns using the cash registers and bagging their grocery's, Lilly was busy decorating the windows. Every flower she could find in the store was brought to the window and displayed! Did I mention Lilly loves flowers? Click here to see the picture.
When she was done, she literally ran up to me with wide eyes, enthusiasm and excitement.
"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! What would Mommy say when she sees all of the flowers?"
Lilly may seem like she is Daddy's little girl. But only because she know's "What Mommy would say when..."
I have a few additional photo's for you to see along with all of the photos from this journal entry. You can see them all by clicking here.